189.
you know what i’m sick of?
i’m sick of every experience in my life constantly being a moral and emotional lesson. i’m sick of always having to make a concerted effort to always have to see the bigger picture. it’s like things are a set-up for the next transition in my life which happens to be another set-up for something else down the line.
i just want to be able to enjoy something purely for what it is, not for the supposed role it’s meant to play in my life. you know what i mean? i just … don’t want to have to think about deeper meanings and all that stuff.
all i want is to enjoy this life. is that too difficult to ask?
188.
dear God,
what the heck are you doing. why is this happening.
this is not how things are supposed to be going.
i don’t know what to do.
-d
187.
sometimes, no one is right or wrong. people are just different.
this can be the most liberating or depressing realization in the world, depending on the context.
mstislav rastropovich | prelude to bach’s cello suite no. 1
few things in life cause me to completely stop what i’m doing so that i can focus solely on it.
listening to a cello - just a single cello - played by a skilled musician in a symphony hall ranks high on that list. the sound of a cello is unlike anything else. it’s haunting, it’s beautiful, it’s almost as if it’s talking or singing to the listener. so much range in tone and emotion. when it’s really good, it bypasses your ears and just cuts straight to the heart leaving goosebumps in its wake. i don’t know how to describe it.
i used to think that having to choose between being blind versus being deaf was an easy choice (i would usually choose being deaf without thinking because i couldn’t possibly imagine life without sight).
but music like this makes answering that question just a little bit more difficult.
enjoy.
the stephalaphagus & me.
you’re beautifully complex, a ball of fire, loyal and selfless to the death. you’ve been redefining my conceptions of courage and perseverance since literally the first day i met you. you are my better half on so many levels.
happy one. day by day.
